"What’s your favorite color?"
ive stolen this line and used it so many times
Being friends with me consists of me sending you bad jokes at 2:47 in the morning
listen up you motherfucker
apparently some guy named mark was trying to tell my mom he needed to speak with my dad about any financial transactions my mom was making because he was the man of the house and she did not take kindly to his implying that my dad was the primary breadwinner/person in charge in our family so
a cute snail eating a strawberry
u just take ur time there lil buddy
ANYONE ELSE FIRST THINK THAT THIS FREAKING SNAIL UNHINGED IT’S HUGEASS JAW OH MY GOD
- baby: m....m...m
- mom: mama? ma? mommy?
- baby: m...m...
- baby: m..mY ANACONDA DONT
Dude why do guys brag about their fucking genitalia UR TALLYWHACKER IS ONE OF THE WEAKEST PARTS OF UR BODY OH WHAT U GOT A BIG DICK WHAT IS IT 8 INCHES ELEPHANTS HAVE FUCKING 4 FOOT PREHENSILE DICKS THAT CAN BREAK LIMBS THAT SHIT IS BRUTAL WHAT CAN U DO YOU SHITDICK OH RIGHT GET FLICKED IN THE FUCKING NUT AN UR FUCKIN DOWN U PUSSY ASS BITCH
[Punts microphone and walks off]